Episode Recap: American Idol - Season 6, Episode 6

Episode 6 Original Air Date: January 31, 2007 Los Angeles - Most people think that "Los Angeles" is Spanish for "The angels", but it actually translates to "the angles". The Mexicans were huge on geometry. The judges are joined this time by Olivia Newton-John. The Contestants Martik Manoukian - Martik's stage name is "Eccentric". He should've chosen "Freakin' Weirdo". He tells us, "I'm an athlete. I will get into acting. I will also get into modeling. I will get into being an author, as well as a singer, songwriter, choreographer, producer, and composer." His specialty is his panther impersonation. "When I was fourteen and fifteen, I was a kitty cat, but now I'm a full grown panther... The reason I should be the next American Idol is because I am the most exciting entertainer on Earth." He bursts into the Audition Room and throws his notebook down on the floor. Then he takes his jacket and shirt off and throws them dramatically to the side. After that, he starts pacing back and forth doing his panther impersonation. Simon finally interrupts, "I'm not being rude, but can we get on with the singing?" Martik decides to perform one of his...Read the rest of this American Idol recap

Episode Recap: Beauty and the Geek - Season 3, Episode 6

Episode 5 Original Air Date: January 31, 2007 A review of the stats for TVChicken.com has revealed that atleast one person found this site by typing "Nate and Jennylee" into a search engine. Well, for those of you who are eager to see some hot geek lovin', the embers start to light up... Read the rest of this Beauty and the Geek post

Episode Recap: American Idol - Season 6, Episode 5

Episode 5 Original Air Date: January 30, 3007 Birmingham - home to Bo, Reuben, and Taylor... and my sister-in-law, but that's not important right now. The Contestants Erica Skye, 19 - Another contestant who mistakenly thinks singing Simon's favorite song, "Unchained Melody", will give her a better chance of getting through. That's only true if you can actually sing. Erica caterwals this song so painfully Paula has to leave the table. She won't stop singing even after the judges give her a resounding "no". Randy almost has security escort her out and Simon tells her, "Erica, you just have to shut up." She directs a brush off gesture over her shoulder to the judges as she finally leaves. Once outside she tells the camera, "I just wish they could have been a little nicer." Has she ever seen the show before? Katie Bernard, 19 - She's got such a squeaky speaking voice she sounds more like a cartoon character than a real person...Read the rest of this American Idol post

Episode Recap: the Apprentice - LA, Episode 4

Episode 4 Original Air Date: January 28, 2007 It's night time shortly after Michelle quit and left the mansion in disgrace. Arrow is sitting around the campfire drinking beer and having an animated conversation about Cheese Doodles. Kinetic, on the other hand, is sitting inside the mansion having a serious, quiet discussion about team dynamics. What fun! Trump Daddy calls both teams simutaneously on the Trump Phone ("Quick Robin, to the Trump Cave!") and says that Arrow needs help and would like for someone from Kinetic to volunteer to join them. Since Arrow has two losses under it's belt, this is sort of like asking players from teams who have repeatedly won penant titles to volunteer to join the Chicago Cubs. Still, four members from Kinetic step up. Arrow chooses Surya. Who knows, maybe Arrow will turn it around this time. Surya packs up his gear and moves out to the backyard with the rest of his new team, who makes a concerted effort to make him feel welcome. The first thing he does is to give a very detailed lecture on what he and the rest of Kinetic have learned about what it takes to succeed. Surely, he must know everything there is to know about success. After all, he was on a team that won two whole challenges. He should write a book or something...Read the rest of this post on The Apprentice

Episode Recap: American Idol - Season 6, Episode 4

Episode 4 - New York Original Air Date: January 24, 2007 New York City - A sleepy little backwater community somewhere on the American East Coast. In this episode the judges are joined by Carol Bayer Sager, "legendary" singer/songwriter. Her songs include: "Groovy Kind of Love", "That's What Friends Are For". The Contestants Ian Benardo. Ian has tried out for So You Think You Can Dance, and flopped terribly. But his spirit hasn't been deflated. He describes himself to the judges as a singer, dancer, and superstar. When Simon says he's not a superstar yet, Ian insists he is, and if Simon doesn't believe him, he can just ask Ian's 'friends, parents, and therapists' (he has two). He non-sings "Gloria" for the judges in a thick, New York accent. When Simon tells him he's no good, he insists on seeing Simon's work visa. He has to be escorted out by security...Read the rest of this American Idol post

Episode Recap: Beauty and the Geek - Season 3, Episode 4

Episode: Beauties and the Beach Original Air Date: January 24, 2007 Nate and Cecille rejoins the rest of the group upstairs after surviving last episode's elimination. Jennylee is thrilled that Nate, the object of her affection, will be staying in the house for a little while longer. Nate, because he is a decent person, has no hard feelings about being sent to the elimination room. However, Her Skankiness Queen Cecille is in a tiff at the thought that she, of all people, should be sent. It's clear to Niels and Jennylee that there may be payback. The next morning, Host Mike Richards informs the crew that they will be going on a vacation, because they deserve the rest. It must pretty hard living in that huge mansion, sunbathing by the pool, and hanging out in the hot tub. One can see why they would need a break from all that. And what exciting and exotic location will the geeks and beauties be traveling to? Tell them, Mike! San Diego! That's right, an all-expense paid trip to the far off land of San Diego! Bus fare included! Oh, come on! Even the Brady Bunch had more interesting vacations than that...Read the full post

Episode Recap: American Idol - Season 6, Episode 3

Editors note - We've had some technical problems here at TVChicken.com which prevented us from getting these posts out on yesterday and the day before. Episode 4, the New York episode should be up this afternoon sometime. Episode 3 Original Air Date: January 23, 2007 Memphis. The home of Elvis, and... well, Heck, that's all any town needs, isn't it? The Contestants Frank "Frank 'n' Beans" Byers, SAU cheerleader. I've always wondered how male cheerleaders avoid getting beaten up. He sings "Heard It Through the Grapvine" and does a great job. But the judges hate it. Simon calls his performance "corny"and "cabaret". Paula says it's "over the top." None of them say he can't sing. Evidently they haven't had their coffee yet. Frank's rejected, but do you think that gets him down? He's a cheerleader, dang it! He leaves the room and cheers with his squad, who are waiting for him in the hallway. Not caring for the noise, Simon leans his head out the door and says, "I'm not being rude, but could you shut up?" I don't know, but if you have to preface everything you say with "I'm not being rude", maybe you are being rude. Appropriately, Ryan cusses Simon out...Read the rest of this post.

Episode Recap: The Apprentice - LA, Episode 3

Episode 3 Original Air Date: January 21, 2007 Nicole and Michelle return to Tent City to re-join the other pathetic losers in Arrow, having just survived last week's elimination. There's all kinds of love for Nicole as everyone hugs her and welcomes her back. Michelle - not so much. Poor Michelle don't get no lovin' from this crew. They still can't quite articulate what their problem is with her. "Negative", "destructive", and "non-contstructive" are words that get thrown around, but it all ends up sounding like "We just can't stand the cow." Maybe these whiners need to spend less time worrying about Michelle and more time figuring out why they keep losing. Frank tells us the rest of the team has a nickname for Michelle. "Johnny", as in Johnny-Come-Lately. It's because she's such a nay-sayer! Get it? Neither do I...Read the rest of this post

Episode Recap: Beauty and the Geek - Season 3, Episode 3

Episode 3 Original Air Date: January 17, 2007 The Great Blonde-Brunette Schism gets worse as Matt and Andrea return from the elimination room to face the other remaining beauties and geeks. Andrea, the only surviving Brunette, does not want to face the Airhead Brigade. The blondes are not crazy about seeing her either. Everyone, including the blondes, congratulate Matt. But no one says anything to Andrea. She remarks how she misses Sheree. House hoochie Cecille says that she's glad that Sheree is gone. This season is not turning out like the first two, which didn't have this ugliness. Sure, there was conflict, but no malice. I think it has to do with the quality of women they've chosen this time around. It would be hard to find a skankier bunch without cruising the red light district...Read the rest of this Beauty and the Geek post

Episode Recap: American Idol - Season 6, Episode 2

Episode 2 Original Air Date: January 17, 2007 Seattle. Another two hour special. And I still have to watch and recap Beauty and the Geek tonight. It's times like this when I doubt the wisdom in starting this site. The Contestants Brendan Grover. He comes dressed as Uncle Sam. Maybe he thought he was trying out for Let's Make a Deal. He tried out last season in his police uniform and sang "I Shot the Sheriff". Since Brendan likes coming in costume, Randy concludes, "He's undercover." Brendan's song is "God Bless America". But singing it that poorly has got to be unpatriotic...read the rest of this American Idol post

Episode Recap: American Idol - Season 6, Episode 1

Episode 1 Original Air Date: January 16, 2007 Two-day, four-hour extravaganza! Does that mean we'll get the audition episodes out of the way sooner, so can we can get to the final "good" episodes - or will the audition portion of the season be even more bloated. Count on the bloating. Minneapolis, hometown of Prince. Apparently that is all this city has going for it. The Contestants: Jessica, make-up artist, idolizes Jewel. What she doesn't know until right before her audition when Ryan tells her is that Jewel is a guest judge today...Read the rest of this American Idol post

Episode Recap: the Apprentice - LA, Episode 2

Episode 2 Date: January 14, 2007 Frank returns to his comrades in Trump Tent City, having avoided elimination by wearing down The Donald with his hyperactive enthusiasm. He excitedly recounts his heroic victory in the boardroom to his teammates, talking like a spastic first-grader who's been eating way too much sugar. This guy would tire out the Energizer Bunny. Don't worry, though, he has a plan to get his team back into the house. His team mates, who by now are completely under the spell of his charisma, huddle around him to hear his scheme. It's morning and time for the teams to be given their next challenge. Trump rounds up the two yuppie herds and gathers them near the beach. Once again, Trump isn't wearing a tie, just so...Read the rest

Episode Recap: Beauty and the Geek - Season 3, Episode 2

Episode 2 Original Air Date: January 10, 2007 This episode begins just after the elimination from the last episode. Scooter, evidently in the mood for something completely wild and outrageous, decides to play Chess with Pi. That might seem like it would be enough excitement for one night, but after the game is over Scooter wanders upstairs where he eventually finds himself in one of the bedrooms with hoochies Megan and Cecille. What happens next leaves Cecille nearly injured and Scooter in the fetal position...Read the rest of this post

Episode Recap: The Apprentice - LA, Episode 1

Episode: To Have and To Have Not Original Air Date: January 7, 2007 Money money money money, monAY! At least the cool theme song hasn't changed this season on The Apprentice. The location has changed, and so, it seems, has The Donald's demeanor (He's a new daddy - again). The premiere episode this season begins with Sir Comb-over riding in a limo through New York, pretending to be talking over the phone to his child bride, Melania, who has already moved to LA. He tells her he'll be out there soon and that he misses her, to which she responds, "I miss you too, you aging bag of hot gas!" ...or something to that effect. And then, a sound which we are supposed to believe comes from Trump the Baby can be heard over the phone, to which Trump responds, "I miss you too, Baron." Baron? I think I knew a great dane once named Baron. As rich as Trump is, you'd think he could afford a decent name for his kid. In the next scene, Trump is driving around LA...Read the rest of this post

Episode Recap: Beauty and the Geek - Season 3, Episode 1

Episode 1 Original Air Date: January 3, 2007 Beauty and the Geek - now with 20% more geek! The geeks do seem even geekier this season, almost as if the casting people spent all of their time attending Star Wars conventions and Dungeons and Dragons tournaments. This herd of geeks includes both a Trekker (not Trekkie, thank you very much!) who comes with his own uniform, and a guy who leads a Star Wars themed band. I wonder if we'll see a slap fight break out between the two? The first geek we meet is Piao, who has only kissed one girl. That just might make him the most experience guy in the group. He tells us...Read the rest of this post