Episode Recap: The Bachelor - Rome, Week 5

Episode 5 Original Air Date: October 30, 2006 There comes a time in every relationship where a man is brought home to "meet the parents", the people who might be his future in-laws. For Prince Lorenzo, that time is now. He too must meet the parents, all eight of them. In this episode, he joins the four remaining girls individually on "home town dates". First up is cute little virgin Sadie, who hails from San Diego. The entire meeting with Sadie's family can best be described with one word, "sweet". We're talking Willy Wonka's chocolate factory kind of sweet. As soon as everybody sits down in the living room, Sadie's mom asks her to tell her "everything". "I've missed you so much!" she says. "I've missed you, too, Mama!" Aw.... During a private moment with her mother...Read the rest of this recap

Episode Recap: Amazing Race 10, Week 7

Episode: I Wonder If This Is Going to Make My Fingers Pickle Original Air Date: October 29, 2006 "Booketing" - our word of the day. Kentucky Couple David and Mary, due to either dumb luck or maneuvering by the producers, are in first place at the beginning of this leg of the race. Their first assignment is to fly to the Mauritius, an island nation off the coast of Africa that apparently none of the teams can pronounce correctly. Once at the airport, David says authoritatively, "We need to find Booketing." Not wanting to pass up an opportunity to ridicule these two, yet at the same time not wanting to look stupid myself, I looked up the word "booketing" on Dictionary.com. There were no results. Then I Googled it. Besides asking me helpfully, "Did you mean booking?", Google displayed only three results - two in Romanian and one in Russian. Then I remembered my trusty copy of Merriem-Webster Hillbilly to English Pocket Dictionary. It had this entry: "book‧et‧ing [bk' et ing] - n. that there place in one of them there airports what you buy your tickets at" Now you know. David and Mary booket a flight...Read the rest of this recap

Episode Recap: Survivor - Cook Islands, Week 7

Episode: A Closer Look Original Air Date: October 26, 2006 After 6 whole episodes of Survivor, do you feel like you need a review of the season so far? Do you miss Billy, Sekou, and the other castaways that have been voted off the island? Do you wish you could watch more dramatic footage of the tribes trying to make fire from bamboo? Me neither. But CBS is giving it to us anyway tonight with "a closer look". Tonight we "revisit the first 18 days". Ah yes, the first 18 days, it seems like it wasn't very long ago when I saw the first episode... Oh, wait, it wasn't very long ago. However, we are promised "never before seen footage". So basically, this is a clip show of all the stuff that wasn't good enough to make it on the air the first time. Instead of doing a blow-by-blow recap this week, I'll just provide a bullet-point list...Read the rest of this recap

Episode Recap: The Bachelor - Rome, Week 4

Episode 4 Original Air Date: October 23, 2006 Prince Lorenzo's stable is down to six phillies and it's time for him to cull the herd a little more. After tonight's episode, the girls that remain will have the pressure privelege of introducing His Dimpledness to their parents. So choose wisely, Your Worship, choose wisely. Host Chris Harrison tells the girls that this week two of the girls will be going one-on-one with Lorenzo while the rest apply the full-court press on a group date. How will those two fortunate girls who get some special alone time with His Princeliness be chosen? All of the girls must answer two questions. Their answers will be judged and the winners will receive the one-on-one dates. The two questions are: Who is the least deserving to be a princess? Who is the least sincere? These questions are especially difficult because, as we all know, women on The Bachelor just hate to bad-mouth each other. Of course, the person chosen...Read the rest of this recap

Episode Recap: Amazing Race 10, Week 6

Episode: Maybe Steven Segal Will See Me and Want Me to Be In One of His Movies Original Air Date: October 22, 2006 Our episode this week begins with the teams receiving their instructions from Phil via video on cell phones that are left for them in their instruction envelopes. Phil tells them they are to find a travel agency, book a flight to Kuwait City, Kuwait and locate Kuwait Towers (the Kuwaitis are not big on thinking up new names for things). But Phil doesn't tell them the name of Kuwait Towers, but only shows them a picture of what the towers look like. Phil then ends the message with, "This cell phone will self-destruct in 10 seconds." No wait, wrong show. Peter and Sarah, who were in first place on the last...Read the rest of this recap

Episode Recap: Survivor - Cook Islands, Week 6

Episode: Plan Voodoo Original Air Date: October 19, 2006 Last week, Raro tribe was down to five women and three men. The women had decided to take advantage of this opportunity by banding together and forming an alliance. Yet, when the time came to scheme about who should be voted off, it was between two women. Way to close ranks, sisters. Raro, Night 14 - Christina, self-appointed master chef, confronts her tribe mates about comments they made during Tribal Council. It seems no one bothered to inform her that they had considered her bossy. Adam counters that he did tell her she was being annoying. Later, Christine tearfully tells us that, as a policewoman, she's survived being shot and she'll survive this. Well, being shot is certainly similar to being told you're bossy - to a crazy person. There must be something about Survivor that just makes the contestants lose their minds. I'm still waiting for the cannibalism to erupt. Aitu, Day 15 - Super Outdoors Man, aka Ozzy, is out spearing fish ... Read the rest of this recap.

Episode Recap: The Bachelor - Rome, Week 2

Episode 3 Original Air Date: October 16, 2006 As the episode begins, the girls are told that this week there will be a group date with Lorenzo, a two-on-one date, and a one-on-one date. In other words, a typical week for most of us guys. Who will be that special girl who gets to go on the one-on-one date? There is only one fair way to decide this - an opera singing contest. A prominent opera teacher is brought in to teach the girls how to sing. What follows is one of the most painful things ever seen or heard on TV. None of these girls can carry a tune to save their lives. Fortunately for them, they are judged on how hard they try as opposed to actual vocal ability. The opera teacher chooses Jami as the winner. This doesn't sit too well with Poor Little Rich Girl Erica. "I still don't think Erica and Lorenzo are compatible," she blubbers, "There's no way she's getting a rose tonight." As Lorenzo and Jami drive off to the opera, Erica is the only one who doesn't wave. One would think that all that princess training Erica has supposedly received would include instruction on how to show some class. Incidentally, for tonight Lorenzo gives Jami...Read the rest

Episode Recap: Amazing Race 10, Week 5

Episode: I Covered His Mouth, Oh My Gosh! Original Air Date: October 15, 2006 In this week's episode, the teams must catch a train from Hai Fong to Hanoi where they will try to catch a flight to Chennai, India. Oddly enough, it is illegal in Vietnam to buy airline tickets at a ticket counter in an airport, so the teams must find a travel agency before they can purchase their tickets. At least they'll be able to bring their toothpaste on the plane. As each of the teams leave the pit stop by taxi, we are treated to more deeply moving, heart-warming, painfully candid confessionals - or, as I like to call them, "filler". Rob and Kimberly (1st to leave) - Rob tells us that the Amazing Race is a metaphor for two people having a life together, and that he and Kimberly just need to "chill out". In this metaphor, what part of marriage does Phil Koegan symbolize? Peter and Bionic Sarah - Sarah tells us her feelings for Peter...Read the rest of this recap here (TVChicken.com/amazing_race).

Episode Recap: Survior Cook Islands, Week 5

Episode: Don't Cry Over Spilled Octopus Original Air Date: October 12, 2006 Raro - Day 12, morning after Tribal Council. The tables have turned on the manly men of the Raro tribe. After losing their alpha male JP to a female alliance, they no longer feel they have the freedom to sit around revelling in their own testosterone. Instead, the three remaining boys spend the morning scrambling around spearing small animals and gathering a humongous pile of wood in an effort to prove to the women how much they need the men. They still don't get it. You could go around killing every defenseless little critter on the island. You could start fire by rubbing your own chest hairs together. You could build a bamboo mansion for your tribe, complete with jacuzzi and wet bar, and no one in the tribe would care. Sure, they might act incredibly grateful after you've done the work. But when it comes to Tribal Council, it's all about who you've ticked off or who feels threatened by you. It doesn't matter that you've single-handedly saved your tribe from the brink of starvation with your secret earthworm souffle recipe which you've been saving just for this occasion, if you're on the wrong side...Read the rest of this Survivor recap here (TVChicken.com/Survivor).

Episode Recap: The Bachelor - Rome, Week 2

Episode 2 Original Air Date: October 9, 2006 It's the first day after the party and host Chris Harrison gathers the herd outside the mansion. He informs them that two group dates will take place in the next couple of days, followed by a rose ceremony. Whoever doesn't receive a rose at that ceremony, he tells them, will be going home. All the girls ooh and ahh like they've never seen the show before. Chris also informs the girls that since tree-hugger Lisa received the special rose during the party, she will get to go on the first one-on-one date with Lorenzo. Poor little rich girl Erica lets us know she is "really annoyed" that Lisa won that privilege. "All she had to do to get it is run around and hug some trees." Maybe Erica ought to remind Lorenzo how she had to fly coach all the way to Rome. Incidentally, Erica wore an actual tiara to the overnight party, and today she's still wearing it. I wonder if she...Read the rest of this recap here (TVChicken.com/bachelor).

Episode Recap: Amazing Race 10, Week 4

Episode: I Know Phil, Little Ol' Gorgeous Thing! Original Air Date: October 8, 2006 At the beginning of this episode, we find out that Rob (of the Bickering Couple) had collapsed of heat exhaustion at the end of the last challenge and had received medical attention. He was then "deemed fit enough to continue". He must have strained himself with all that yelling at Kimberly. The teams' first assignment is to run to a table where the old Master from the Kung Fu TV show is waiting (or maybe the man just looks like the old Master) to give them their "Dong". That's not nearly as gross as it sounds - the Dong is the Vietnamese currency. The teams are then to proceed by taxi back to Hanoi for their first challenge. The Brainiacs, Erwin and Godwin, are the first to leave since they were the first to arrive at the Pit Stop at the end of the last challenge. Erwin tells us how as Asian Americans, he and Godwin have a big responsibility on this race to show all sides of Asian Americans. And really, what better way is there to represent one's race to the world than going on a realty show? It's not as if anyone is ever cast in an unflattering light on one of these... Read the rest of this recap here.

Episode Recap - Survivor: Cook Islands, Week 4

Episode: Ruling the Roost Original Air Date: October 5, 2006 Poor little Ozzy. As the episode begins, the Aitu tribal members are coming back from Tribal Council, having just voted off Cecilia, Ozzy's teammate from the former Latino tribe. Ozzy's not too happy about it either. "I feel like I'm on the outside," he confesses to the camera, "To lose to the only former member of my tribe, the person who helped me lay the foundations of everything these people are going to enjoy, makes me feel like crap. If they want to vote me out, they should do it soon so I don't have to keep catching food for them. I just don't feel like playing along anymore." Aww. It's kind of hard to feel sorry for this guy after he convinced his old team to throw a challenge just so they could vote off Billy. (Yes, I know it was a couple of episodes ago, but I'm still bitter.) Ozzy's words here reveal a misunderstanding about the nature of the game. Specifically he whines about the fact that he and Cecilia "laid the foundations of everything these's people are going to enjoy". Look, demonstrating your superior outdoorsman skills gets you absolutely nowhere in Survivor. When it comes to Tribal Council, no one cares if you killed a herd of wild boar with your bare hands, then field dressed them, cooked them, and served pork chops for dinner to your entire tribe that day. No one cares that you alone erected the two-story, eight bedroom shelter out of twigs and dolphin snot. All that stuff... Read the rest of this recap here. (TVChicken.com/Survivor)

Episode Recap: The Bachelor - Rome, Week 1

Episode 1 Original Air Date: October 2, 2006 Lorenzo Borghese, cosmetic heir, founder of several profitable corporations, and real-life prince. It may seem like this season's bachelor would have no problems, but that's not the case as Prince Lorenzo explains to the camera during the first segment, "I never ever introduce myself as Prince Lorenzo Borghese. I'm always Lorenzo. The only time that people find out that I'm a prince is when my friends are around and they're trying to pick up girls. They'll introduce me... 'Do you know who that is? That's Prince Lorenzo Borghese.' And then I know my night is ruined." As he says this, I'm sure male viewers everywhere are thinking, "There but for the Grace of God, go I." Why is it that no one ever featured on the Bachelor seems like they'd have trouble getting a date in real life? Are the rest of us... Read the rest of the post here

Episode Recap: Amazing Race 10, Week 3

Episode: Oh, Wow! It's Like One of Those Things You See on TV! Original Air Date: October 1, 2006 At the beginning of this week's episode, the teams are told to fly from Mongolia to Hanoi, Vietnam. Once in Hanoi, they are to make their way by taxi to the site of the "Hanoi Hilton", a famous prison where American POWs were held and tortured during the Vietnam War. How fun! The teams will not be given any money for this leg of the journey. Peter and Mary are the first to leave, since they were the first to complete their challenge the night before. But it really doesn't matter, since the ticket counter for the airline they must use doesn't open until 9am, and all the teams end up on the same flight anyway. As each team leaves via jeep for the ticket office, we are once again treated to "personal" moments in which contestants share with the rest of us their thoughts and feelings. As the sharing goes on, I begin to realize that nothing bores me more than these people's thoughts and feelings. Read the rest of this recap on TVChicken.com/Amazing_Race