Episode Recap: The Bachelor - Rome, Week 8 FINALE

Episode 8 Original Air Date: November 27, 2006 It's down to the last two bachelorettes. Will Lorenzo choose the sweet, bubbly, naive young blonde, or will he choose the sweet, bubbly, naive young blonde? Even as this episode begins, Lorenzo claims he's still having trouble deciding between Jen and Sadie. No wonder, they're exactly the same! His Highness feels he needs backup, so he's called in his parents to help him make his decision. Much ado is made in the narration of "Prince and Princess Borghese" coming "back" to Rome to help their son. Nevermind the fact that "Princess" Amanda sounds like she could be from Connecticut...Read the rest of this post

Episode Recap: Amazing Race 10, Week 11

Episode: We Just Won't Die, Like Roaches Original Air Date: November 26, 2006 The race is now down to four teams, none of them the least bit likable - Bickering Couple Rob and Kimberly, Pretty Boys Tyler and James, Alabama Single Moms Lyn and Karlyn, and the Doublemint Twins Dustin and Kandice. It's hard to root for any of them, due to a serious deficit in redeemable qualities. Picking a favorite team out of this herd would amount to rooting for the least of four evils. Time may be better spent trying to decide whom to hate the most. My choice - the Doublemint Twins, aka the Evil Barbies. This week the teams have to fly from Kiev to a certain town in Morocco. The Pretty Boys are the first to leave, followed closely by the Doublemint Twins, who are all smiles as usual. It's bad enough that these two are so evil. Do they have to be happy, too? The Doublemint Twins manage to get...Read the rest

Episode Recap: Survivor Cook Islands - Week 11

Episode: Why Would You Trust Me? Original Air Date: November 23, 2006 It's Day 25 and Jonathan, having barely survived two Tribal Councils, decides it would be a good idea to start bossing around the rest of Aitu. He's a little perturbed at the kiddies this morning for not having a pot of boiling water ready by the time he was back with his daily haul of fish. He tells us, "It's time for them to see that my way is best." I think I've figured out Jonathan's brilliant strategy: 1) Ally yourself with someone(Candice) who can barely stand you and isn't the least bit loyal to you. 2) Alienate four people by jumping ship and joining the other tribe. 3) Insist on leading every challenge, then lose every challenge. 4) After barely escaping elimination in two Tribal Councils, assume that you are safe and start annoying the poop out of your tribe mates by bossing them around. 5) Catch a lot of fish. Brilliant! Over at Raro, Yul is...Read the rest of this post

Episode Recap: The Bachelor - Rome, Week 7

Episode 7 Original Air Date: November 20, 2006 It's that time once again for the "The Women Speak!" episode. You may know it by it's rejected title, "An Excuse to Squeeze Another Episode Out of the Bachelor!". This season's reunion episode pretty much contains the same snarky cat-fighting as the other seasons, so I will spare you the blow-by-blow commentary...Read the rest of this recap

Episode Recap: Amazing Race 10, Week 10

Episode: Lookin' Like a Blue-Haired Lady on a Sunday Drive Original Air Date: November 19, 2006 As we left the racers last time, Pretty Boys Tyler and James had just repelled down the side of the Olympic Stadium in Helsinki, thinking they were about to win another leg of the race. Once they reach the bottom they receive their clue only to find out they are just half-way through this leg of the race. I think the clue said something like "Psych! Ha ha, you losers!" Or maybe it was more like, "Keep racing!" Six of one, half-dozen of another. The clue also tells the racers...Read the rest of this recap

Episode Recap: Cook Islands - Week 10

Episode: People That You Like Want to See You Suffer Original Air Date: November 16, 2006 It's Day 22, and nervous Jonathan is still sweating like Anna Nicole Smith at a spelling bee. He knows he barely avoided being voted off at last Tribal Council, thanks to Brad, who had already ticked off the rest of his tribe before Jonathan arrived. So now we find him still working his dough boy posterior off - climbing trees for coconuts, diving for fish, gathering clams, all in a desperate attempt to make his new tribe think he's valuable. He tells us he realizes he made a mistake when he jumped over to Raro with Candice. He calls himself "a wandering Jew without a tribe". Meanwhile, Adam and Candice are making up for lost time by closely examining each other's tongues. Candice tells Adam...Read the rest of this recap

Episode Recap: The Bachelor - Rome, Week 6

Episode 6 Original Air Date: November 13, 2006 The field has been narrowed to only three bachelorettes this week, and... oh, who gives a crap, anyway? Sorry, I'm still mourning for Agnese. This whole thing seems so pointless without her. Sigh. Anyway, not that it matters, but Lorenzo's first date this episode is with Jen, or as I like to call her, Not Agnese. As you may recall, Jen is a young teacher who lives in Pembroke Pines, Florida, with her Mom and Psycho-Daddy ("Wanna see muh guns?"). Each of the dates Lorenzo will have with the women this round will take place in an exotic location, and Jen's date this episode takes place in Sweden. So to really experience Sweden's unique culture, Lorenzo decides to take Jen to a place the Swedes refer to as an "amusement park". This place has concession stands, booths where you can win stuffed animals, and something called a "roller coaster". It looks like a lot of fun! They ought to build one of those amusement park thingies over here in America! Because this is The Bachelor, it is extremely important that Lorenzo and Jen locate an alcoholic beverage...Read the rest of the post

Episode Recap: Amazing Race 10, Week 9

Episode: Being Polite Sucks Sometimes Original Air Date: November 12, 2006 Tonight was the first episode without Kentucky couple David and Mary, so this season is bound to be less entertaining from this point. What's more, three of the five teams left are all jerks. Spending a day with the Doublemint Twins Dustin and Kandice, Bickering Dating Couple Rob and Kimberly, or the Pretty Boys James and Tyler would probably be only slightly more fun than, say, dinnertime with the convicts at the local supermax prison. Of the two likable teams that are left, Single Moms Lyn and Karlyn have a chance of winning this race, as long as a bus hits all four of the other teams. Even then, it's iffy. That leaves...Read the rest of this post

Episode Recap: Survivor, Cook Islands - Week 9

Episode: Mutiny Original Air Date: November 9, 2006 The trouble with five-member Survivor alliances is that you usually end up with one airhead. In this case, it is Candice who has the wind rushing around inside her cranium. At the beginning of Day 19, Jonathan gathers the other four members of his Aitu alliance (Yul, Becky, Sundra, and Candice) and tries to come to an agreement on strategy. Candice confides to us that she doesn't want the alliance to survive the merge because she wants to get back into an alliance with Adam and Parvati. Of course, why would she want to stay in an alliance that has kept her in the game this long? Sure, keeping the alliance together would guarantee that she gets into the final five, but why would she want that? Why, that might actually help her win the game! Amazingly, Jonathan starts to talk privately with Candice...Read the full post

Episode Recap: Amazing Race 10, Week 8

Episode: He Can't Swim But He Can Eat Cow Lips! Original Air Date: November 5, 2006 It's 3am in Mauritius and the Doublemint Twins, Dustin and Kandice, are the first to leave the Pit Stop since they won the last leg of the race. Their next task is to drive to the airport and catch a flight to Madagascar. But wait! The girls' car looks all ugly now since they wrecked it the day before. No problem! They decide just to take one of the other teams' cars. An actual human being would feel guilt at this point, but not the Doublemint Twins. "That's what you get for showing up at the Pit Stop last!" one of them giggles. Apparently, their cosmetic surgeons drained them of their humanity to make room for the silicon, collagen, and Botox. Rob and Kimberly and the Pretty Boys...Read the rest of this recap

Episode Recap: Survivor, Cook Islands - Week 8

Episode: Why Aren't You Swimming? Original Air Date: November 2, 2006 It's Day 16 and Nate, who has been "kidnapped" from the Raro tribe, is sitting around the campfire with Aitu. The Aitu members try to pump Nate for information, but he's the one who winds up getting an earfull when the topic of Cao Boi's elimination is raised. Flicka (Jessica) says, "'Kay, so like, I was totally bummed because, like, I totally thought we were voting, like another way. And like, I totally voted for Jonathan and stuff. And like, then you guys voted for Cao Boi, so like, I'm like, 'No way!', 'cause you guys totally didn't tell me. And like I just want to be like, on the same page and stuff." Yul is not happy this discussion...Read the rest of this recap