Sunday, February 25, 2007

Episode Recap: Amazing Race All Stars (Season 11), Episode 2



Episode: Beauty Is Sometimes Skin Deep
Original Air Date: February 25, 2007

What made Drew think he could handle this race again? He's in such poor shape, it's amazing he can cross the street without getting hurt, let alone race around the world. During the last episode, not only was he outrun by a little person, the first thing he did upon exiting the cab in Ecuador was to trip on his own feet and nearly dislocate his shoulder. As this episode opens, we find out he spent the night being treated for altitude sickness. The doctors had to administer oxygen to him four times.

Rob and Amber are the first to leave the Pit Stop this morning and find out they must make their way to Chile. Rob tells us the other teams don't know what they're in for with him and Amber, and says, "I don't even want the other teams to be afraid of us. I want them to be preoccupied with us, so they'll be distracted."

It seems Rob is already pretty preoccupied with himself.

Myrna and Charla don't get too far...Read the rest of this episode recap of The Amazing Race

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Friday, February 23, 2007

Episode Recap: American Idol - Season 6, Episode 13



Episode 13
Original Air Date: February 21, 2007

Is it just me, or does Simon's wardrobe choice seem rather limited? Does he even own a shirt with buttons?

Tonight we see the initial results of the biggest, most shameless popularity contest on the planet. The top 12 men performed Tuesday. The women performed Wednesday. Tonight we get to see the results of America's vote, which will most likely have little to do with who is the most talented.

The show opens, of course, with a review of the previous two episodes. This is important, because the last episode ended all of 23 hours ago. We could have forgotten something crucial, like what color long-sleeve sweater-shirt Simon wore.

Next we find out the answer to the question, "What would happen if the Partridge Family and the Brady kids all sang the same song together?" The answer is, it would sound a lot like all 24 top contestants performing "Sowing the Seeds of Love" by Simply Red. Why the producers believe we are interested in these group sing-a-longs is beyond me. Maybe they're just trying...Read the rest of this American Idol episode recap

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Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Episode Recap: American Idol - Season 6, Episode 12



This is the second of three nights this week that American Idol is on. The network has decided on the strategy of "we have a really popular show, so let's air it so much that people get sick of it!"

Tonight the women will be singing. One thing that stands out is that nearly all the women are taller than Ryan. I swear, he looks like Tatoo from Fantasy Island next to most of these girls.

Stephanie Edwards
Her voice is...Read the rest of this American Idol episode recap

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Episode Recap: Beauty and the Geek - Season 3, Episode 8 REUNION SHOW



Episode: Beauties and Geeks Reunite
Original Air Date: February 21, 2007

Ah, the memories. It seems like it was just last week... Wait, it was just last week! Yet, for some reason, CW expects us to waste an hour of our lives mostly watching old clips from this season of Beauty and the Geek. Probably 80% of the "reunion" show is spent reviewing footage we've already seen. For crying out loud, there were only seven episodes! What, have we all suffered short-term memory loss?

It would be different if most of the show were spent filling us in on what the contestants have been up to the past six months...Read the rest of this episode recap of Beauty and the Geek

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Sunday, February 18, 2007

Episode Recap: the Apprentice - LA, Episode 6



Arrow is waiting in their loser Tent City squalor waiting to see who returns. Everyone is annoyed by Surya, so Stefani proposes putting him on the line for the next challenge by making him Project Manager.

Surya is still whining about Aaron as he and Nicole return from the Boardroom. He's got a psychotic, wild-eyed expression on his face as proclaims to everyone how upset he is. It's hard to tell, as Tim says, if he "wants to hit someone, or cry." He says he "has to be PM tomorrow". That's fine with Stefani, who gives him a hug. Wow. Let the backstabbing begin.

Trump has everyone meet him at the airport in front of the Trump-Plane. He has to leave on business for the day, and he just can't be bothered to meet with these people at the house. It's important that they all watch him fly away on his jet. He tells the candidates...Read the rest of this episode recap of The Apprentice

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Episode Recap: Amazing Race All Stars (Season 11), Episode 1



Episode: I Told You Less Martinis and More Cardio
Original Air Date: February 18, 2007

It had to happen sooner or later. Welcome to the Obligatory "All Star" Season of The Amazing Race. Every reality show does this sooner or later. Studio and network executives worry because viewers are starting to get burnt out on a particular show. So they look at their "List of Things to Do to Keep People Watching Your Tired Reality Show", and say, "Which of these things haven't we tried yet?":

1 Shocking Twists (i.e. host does not wear necktie some episodes, see The Apprentice)
2 SNAKES!
3 Bring back losers from past seasons and hope that they aren't the reasons viewers are burnt out on your show.

Studio executives could try all of those things, if they apply. Or they could try something completely different like, oh, say, not airing two entire seasons of the show every stinking year! Helloooo!!! Give us a chance to miss the show, for Pete's sake!

But I digess. This season will feature 11 teams from the past...Read the rest of this The Amazing Race episode recap

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Thursday, February 15, 2007

Episode Recap: Survivor Fiji, Week 2



Episode: Snakes Are Misunderstood ...We Have An Understanding Now
Original Air Date: February 15, 2007

Not to be mean, but has anyone else noticed the serious lack of eye candy in this season's Survivor, especially compared to last season? Cook Islands was swimming in both beef- and cheesecake, what with all those fit young people running around. It was like Survivor 90210. This time around, it looks like they filled the island with dumpy people just to balance it off with last season.

Day 4
The Ravu Tribe is doing its best to survive in Survivor Ghetto. Not only do they lack the "luxuries" of the Moto tribe living uptown, but they don't even have water (actually, they don't have fire to boil the bad water that's available to them). On Day 4 they've taken to licking leaves. Earl says they're getting so dehydrated that they're "delirious".

I'm telling you, it's only a matter of time before they start eating each other. Imagine that converstation at Tribal Council:

Jeff: "Uh, I can't help but notice you're missing a member of your tribe."

Castaway #1: "Yeah, we've already held our own 'Tribal Council' and uh, 'voted off' Earl."

Castaway #2: "Yeah, and he was delicious!"

Jeff: "Tell me about that... how does that change the dynamic of your tribe?"

Over on Easy Street, Moto is...Read the rest of this episode recap of Survivor: Fiji

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Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Episode Recap: American Idol - Season 6, Episode 10 (The Top 24)



Episode 10 - The Top 24 Are Chosen
Original Air Date: February 14, 2007


Forty contestants are left, but ony 24 will survive the end of this episode. That means sixteen will be eliminated (that's just in case you're too lazy to do the Math yourself).

The contestants are made to sit in a holding room while they wait to be called one by one to take the elevator ride up to the judge's room. The whole episode will consist of contestants going to that room, sitting down, and hearing the verdict. Of course, the judges could've just eliminated 36 people instead of 20 last night, or they could just tell all sixteen losers at once that they're out. But then FOX wouldn't be able milk another night of advertising revenue out of this show, now would they?

Another thing I don't like about this episode is that the judges feel some psychopathic need to be cute when they tell the winners they get to go on to the next round. For every single winner, the judges use a variation of one of these comments:

"I'm sorry to tell you .... [long pause] ... [takes a swig of whatever alcoholic beverage is contained in the red cup]... [picks something out of teeth] ... [checks breath and pops a Tic Tac in mouth]... that you're going to be seeing a lot more of us."

"We've decided...Read the rest of this American Idol episode recap

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Episode Recap: Beauty and the Geek - Season 3, Episode 7 FINALE



Episode: Beauty Queen and Geek King
Original Air Date: February 14, 2007


Nate and the Bride of Satan return from the Elimination Room and join Megan and Scooter upstairs. Cecille is in the mood to celebrate, but can't understand why Nate is so sad. One would think it obvious that Nate is unhappy about having to say goodbye to his girlfriend, Jennylee. But in actuality, it would only be obvious to someone who has a soul.

Nate confides in Scooter that he is also upset about Cecille's catty little comment at the end of Elimination (see the last post). Of course, Nate is far too passive-aggressive (read: "weenie") to actually say anything to Cecille about it. So Scooter decides he'll have a go at it...Read the rest of this Beauty and the Geek episode recap

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Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Episode Recap: American Idol - Season 6, Episode 9 (First Hollywood Episode)



Episode: The Hollywood Round
Original Air Date: February 13, 2007

Hollywood! Swimming pools, movie stars... No wait, that's Beverly Hills. Nevermind.

Don't expect this recap to be a blow-by-blow of every single contestant's performance. The Hollywood episode doesn't really lend itself to that. Here are the highlights:


Solo Rounds

The Women
Jory Steinberg is the first contestant from the first group of six to perform. She tells the judges she wants to be the next American Idol so she can dress like Paula. Lo and behold, she and Paula are both dressed in a grey vest over a white blouse and black pants. I would go into more detail, but after reading my detailed wardrobe descriptions in previous posts, some of my family and friends are beginning to doubt my manliness.

After the first six contestants are finished performing they line up on stage in front of the judges. Simon tells them, "You are all...Read the rest of this American Idol episode recap

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Sunday, February 11, 2007

Episode Recap: the Apprentice - LA, Episode 5



Episode 5
Original Air Date: February 11, 2007


Sometimes I wonder if Trump even watches his own show. During the narration at the beginning of tonight's episode he says, "Last week, Surya went over to Arrow to help them out of their slump. With Surya on board Arrow was finally able to win a challenge!"

Surya - superstar!

The only thing Surya was good for during the last challenge was working the drive-thru at Pollo Loco. Any scholastically challenged teenager with a pierced eyebrow can do that. The truth is...Read the rest of this episode recap of The Apprentice

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Episode Recap: Survivor Fiji, Week 1



Episode: Something Cruel Is About to Happen ... Real Soon
Original Air Date: February 8, 2007

Fiji - remote tropical islands lush with scenery and replete with primitive living conditions. Why haven't they thought of taping Survivor in some place like this before?

They promise us there will be new twists this season, of course. One tribe will live the life of relative luxury in their camp while the other tribe will go without absolutely nothing. There are not one, but two Immunity Idols. And Exile Island is infested with "deadly" sea snakes. What the heck? If that's true, that's insane. Something tells me the snake situation isn't quite how they're portraying it. It would be awfully hard to insure the show if it were that dangerous.

The show begins with all nineteen contestants rowing together in catamarans to the same beach on the same island. Jeff tells us in the narration that "fear of the unknown" caused one contestant to drop out even before it was time to row to the island. Unknown? The show is in its fourteenth season, for crying out loud.

The group makes it to the beach, and afterward the atmosphere is so cordial you'd think there is a convention of Chronically Happy People taking place. It's always interesting to watch the social dynamics on Survivor descend from lovefest to Lord of the Flies. I'm still waiting...Read the rest of this Survivor: Fiji episode recap

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Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Episode Recap: American Idol - Season 6, Episode 8



Episode: "The Rest of the Best"
Original Air Date: February 7, 2007

In a sadistic effort to prolong our agony and postpone the Hollywood portion of the season, American Idol has decided to take previously unseen footage from it's seven-city audition tour and create a "Rest of the Best" episode. It can also be called, "All The Stuff That Wasn't Interesting Enough to Be In the First Seven Episides" episode.

The Contestants

Christa Fazzino, 19. Christa says she dresses according to her mood. I wonder if she feels nauseous today, because that's how looking at her outfit makes me feel. I'm not sure a written description could do her clothes justice, but she comes to the audition wearing a veil over a black pill box hat that looks more like a headband because the top has been taken out, a shoulderless but collared...Read the rest of this American Idol episode recap

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Episode Recap: Beauty and the Geek - Season 3, Episode 6



Episode: Down on the Farm
Original Air Date: February 7, 2007

A realization hits Jennylee as she and Niels returns unscathed from the Elimination Room - they're in a contest to win money! She tells us it occured to her now that there are only three teams left that she and Niels might actually have a chance to win this thing. "I had forgotten all about the money," she tells us.

Nate is happy about Jennylee's return, of course. He managed to make his move last episode, and since then the sparks have been flying. Just ask Scooter. He tells us he knew all along that Jennylee had a crush on Nate, but he never suspected it would get "physical". So he was surprised to find out that it had.

"Physical"? Does this mean this isn't a family show anymore? Niels explains to us what he and Scooter consider to be "physical"...Read the rest of this Beauty and the Geek episode recap

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Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Episode Recap: American Idol - Season 6, Episode 7



Episode 7
Original Air Date: February 6, 2007

San Antonio. If tonight's audition is typical, it will prove that all the losers from here didn't die defending the Alamo.

Simon arrives late again. This time jetlag is to blame. He had to fly all the way in from London, so this is like night time for him. Does this mean he won't have his usual pleasant demeanor?

Brian Kyrish. This Chunky believes himself to be a breakdancer. He demonstrates his talent for us before his audition. He's got moves, with his frame he looks like he's going to hurt himself. Brian tells...Read the rest of this American Idol post